Monday, June 29, 2009

Screw MJ: Billy Mays is dead

Billy Mays, king of the pitchmen, master of the spoken word, emperor of the holy TV turd, is dead. He is the one true celebrity big loss this weekend; a man on his prime leaves us, when he was doing his best work.

Billy Mays was awesome. He is the only human being that is allowed to speak in Caps Lock ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN HE IS ORDERING FOOD AND/OR HAVING SEX WITH HIS WIFE:

Actually, the though of Billy Mays having sex with his wife while selling HIS BIG UNIQUE DICK AND WAIT THERE IS MORE in Billy-Mays-speak is highly disturbing, and I wish I hadn´t put it in your brain. Sorry.

I just did.

Jokes aside, Mays was actually a really impressive individual. He started pitching junk in Atlantic City, and impressed the owner of a little known cleaning product (OxiClean) enough that he decided to put him on TV. He made the brand, and it hasn´t been the only thing he build from the ground.

I really don´t know how he did it (I think his voice is hypnotic, in a bizarro, I am blasting you with the sonic equivalent of a ton of bricks kind of way), but he did sell his stuff. Death of salesman indeed.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The music game we are waiting for: Beatles - Rock Band

The best music game of all time is, no questions asked, Rock Band 2. It is fun, it is challenging, it has the best tracklist ever and it has allowed me to sing Pixies songs in Madison Square Garden.

They have a ton of good songs in this game, but they are missing something. They are missing the holy grail of music games, the band to rule them all. No, it is not Led Zeppelin, you idiots. The Beatles: Rock Band is coming this fall.

As you see from the (excellent) trailer, the game is a trip down the band's career. It looks sweeeeeet. Just in case we were wondering if the guys at Harmonix were going to nail the art design completely, they released recently the opening animation of the thing. And boy, does it look pretty. Check it out.

CeDeLiGa Update: Dead Heat

Well, well, well what an interesting week in Celebrity Deaths. Like they say - it comes in threes and this week was no exception. Ed McMahon, Farrah & Michael Jackson. I have to say I feel bad for Farrah. I mean obviously it sucks for her that she died, but Michael Jackson had to go steal her thunder.

Anyhow...the Celebrity Death List Game is now a dead heat (pun abso-freaking-lutely intended): I have one point for Bea Arthur and my friend Jster in Cali got one for Ed McMahon. The funny thing is that she only picked one and gosh darn it - it hit!! She better get to picking her final two because if Dick Clark goes next she'll be sorry!!

As for this whole Michael Jackson death - I really think it is such a big deal because he truly is the first major death of an idol of the tech generation. Twitter and Perez were crashing when the news broke. I don't think that there will be another freak out like this until Madonna or Oprah goes. I don't feel upset about his passing but if he had died in the early 90s, before his weird ways got out of control, I probably would be sobbing. Don't Stop til You Get Enough is in my top five songs of all time.

The best thing that has come out of MJ passing is this video. Anderson Cooper interviewed Sheryl Crow last night and played this clip. I do not think I have EVER seen bigger hair. Enjoy.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wait, Wait ... Huh?

If I have not previously mentioned it on the Dump, I am a massive This American Life fan. I know you all must be rolling your eyes, thinking what a tragic hipster. Blame my husband and brother for getting me into listening to public radio. But honestly the show is so frickin good and it makes me laugh and/or cry every week. I highly endorse downloading the podcast, if you do not already.

Anyhow - to the point - this past week's episode was about origin stories and there was one I just had to share. It turns out that Peter Sagal (amazingly funny host of another NPR show, Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!) wrote the script that would later become....wait for it.....Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights.

Turns out Peter was commissioned by Lawrence Bender (producer of Pulp Fiction) to write a gritty script about politics in Cuba during the rise of Castro. Of course the wise powerful people in Hollywood asked him to tone it down and make it more like Dirty Dancing, which had just been a big hit at the time. He did his best but totally hated it and it ended up sitting on a shelf until the early 2000s when somebody decided to take it off the shelf, blow the thick layer of dust off of it and turn it into the gratuitous sequel of the best movie in the world.

I you have no clue who Peter Sagal is, I recommend listening to a few episodes of Wait Wait, then you will realize how absolutely amazing it is that he is responsible for that movie.

Monday, June 22, 2009

How Do I Love JT? Let Me Count the Ways...

Oh Timber, Timber, Timberlake. I was not a fan of you during your NSYNC days but then you won me over with your solo debut. I plastered your pictures on my wall as if I was thirteen again. When you brought sexy back I had heart palpitations. My friends and I made homemade t-shirts to wear to your concert and carried glittered "I heart JT" foam board signs. Mind you I had just entered my mid-twenties that day.

Now the fucker has to go be funny as well...I hate talented people.

When Plasticville gets posted on Hulu I will let you know, cause that is my new favorite.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Nick & Norah generational cult movie

Some movies are just sweet - and that´s it. You don´t need anything else; you just have to put two sweet, lonely people walking up and down a long New York City night and let them meet each other. Nick & Norak Infinite Playlist is one of those movies, and it is really a nice, sweet little gem.

We got it from Netflix about three months ago - one of these BluRays that get stuck in a shelf and never manages to make it to the PS3. It was one of those movies that we sorta wanted to watch when it came out, missed it, and got into it late; we didn´t remember that it really hadn´t reviewed all that well. You know what? The critics can suck it. Nick & Norah is a wonderful little movie; a cross between High Fidelity, Before Sunrise and Dazed and Confused for milenials.

Don´t be mistaken: it screams indie the way all corky indie comedies do. For some reason, it just fits the history perfectly; after all, it is about two teenagers born in the weird, odd world of the 2000 - a planet where we are all a bit lost in the shuffle, swamped by our little internet obsessions and infinite access to our little corner of choice in the pop culture universe. Pop culture references are a matter of identity, not random witty blurbs. Nick & Norah are just two lost, confused teenagers trying to find someone that has their slightly odd, warped, cute view of the world. It is the kind of movie that adores New York City, the place of a thousand of lost little cultures and magical touches.

I am not sure if is a movie for everyone. Maybe only geeks and ackward loners will see themselves in the movie. Still, I really, really, really loved it; it really feels like a small, bite sized chunk of how nerds would like to love at the turn of the century. A little marvel.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Why should I care?

Why does anyone pays any attention to the MTV movie awards? Seriously, why? It is not that we have a lack of movie awards and random prizes out there. The world is full of places where celebrities can feel good about themselves - it is not that we really need another exercise of blatant show business masturbation.

Yesterday we got to know that Eminem is actually a fairly good sport (if the whole Bruno thing was actually staged) and that the cutting-edge trendsetters that watch MTV (fucking tweeners) love the trashtastic Twilight series. The fact that they gave acting awards to the not exactly Shakesperian High School Musical 3 is just cute, really. Not that Zachie can´t be funny (he was pretty decent in SNL) but seriously, that is really reaching for the bottom of the barrel. It is not even "so bad is good" - HSM is just Philcollinesque is its sheer lameness.

The proof is in the picture!

I know you are all jealous out there. THE Taylor Hanson touched me. Not that I wanted to brag or anything....