CeDeLiGa Update: Noooooo!

I am very sad to report that there is a three way tie in the CeDeLiGa race, with the death of Ted Kennedy. Roger astutely added the cancer patient to his list at the start of the year and it paid off. Although just last week Roger did say that he would rather lose this CeDeLiGa point than lose Kennedy's vote in the senate with the healthcare reform bill in the balance. Ever the political scientist.

I must say I shed some tears this morning for good 'ol Teddy. It is the end of an era.

Well, to the business at hand...the CeDeLiGa standings are as follows: Me - 1 point for Bea Arthur, Jster - 1 point for Ed McMahon and Roger - 1 point for Ted Kennedy. This is the closest race in CeDeLiGa history and with more cancer patients, overweight diabetics, drug addicts and octogenariens remaining on peoples lists it is only going to get more exciting! Stay tuned!

Why should I care?

Why does anyone pays any attention to the MTV movie awards? Seriously, why? It is not that we have a lack of movie awards and random prizes out there. The world is full of places where celebrities can feel good about themselves - it is not that we really need another exercise of blatant show business masturbation.

Yesterday we got to know that Eminem is actually a fairly good sport (if the whole Bruno thing was actually staged) and that the cutting-edge trendsetters that watch MTV (fucking tweeners) love the trashtastic Twilight series. The fact that they gave acting awards to the not exactly Shakesperian High School Musical 3 is just cute, really. Not that Zachie can´t be funny (he was pretty decent in SNL) but seriously, that is really reaching for the bottom of the barrel. It is not even "so bad is good" - HSM is just Philcollinesque is its sheer lameness.

Please Shoot An Arrow Through 'Cupid's Heart

I wanted to like the new Cupid. I was one of the very few who was in love (no pun intended) with the original series of the same name and concept starring Jeremy Piven back in the 90s. That show only lasted 15 episodes (one of which never aired.) Come to find out, the original Cupid was the first big job for writer, Rob Thomas (not the Matchbox20 douche), who is regarded very highly by yours truly because he created one of my all time favorite shows (albeit short-lived) Veronica Mars.

For some reason, over 10 years later, ABC decided to let Rob Thomas take another crack at Cupid. Just in case you don't know, the concept of the show is this: Seemingly normal guy claims to be cupid. He says that Zeues sent him to earth to punish him for arrogance and the only way he can back to deity status is by connecting 100 couples (true love only) without using any powers. Of course regular earthlings think he is crazy and he is assigned a shrink.

The premise is odd but it worked with Jeremy Piven. The biggest difference between these two shows is that Jeremy Piven actually had sexual chemistry with his shrink (played by Paula Marshall) and it drove the show. This remake stars Bobby Canavale as the title character and Sara Paulson as his skeptic shrink. Unfortunately Bobby plays the character kinda gay (actually he plays him realllly gay) so you don't feel any sexual chemistry between the two. I normally like Bobby Canavale (Station Agent baby) but he is horribly miscast. Sara Paulson has better chemistry with Matthew Perry (as we saw in Studio 60), who I think would have been a much better choice.

I wanted to like the new Cupid but if the guy playing Cupid is wrong - the whole thing stinks.

"Open Heart" aka Balls on Top of Ass

Is it just me or does Jane Seymour's "Open Heart" design look just like balls on top of ass? The middle pic looks like ass to ass balls on ass. Sorry, but I would slap my huband if he bought me a balls on ass necklace...or laugh in his face and ask about the return policy. Who knew Dr. Quinn was so dirty.

"I am become death, the destroyer of shows"

I am Shiva, destroyer of shows. I am become death. As soon as writing a post on the criminally underrated "Life on Mars" (US version) crossed my mind, ABC immediately nuked it. Obliterated it. Vaporized it. Eviscerated it. Crunched it. Blasted it to the proverbial smithereens. Canceled it for ever and ever.

A damn shame, I might add. "Life on Mars" was a very good show on the path of becoming truly excellent; a wonderful take on a -supposedly awesome; I haven't seen it- BBC series of the same name. The premise was really clever (a 2008 cop gets transported to the 1970s) and the show was using it well; it was funny, interesting and as the characters were allowed to develop, more and more revealing and layered.

I guess it was not doing well in the ratings. Actually, it was doing fairly well (not stellar, but decent) up to late November, when ABC put the show on hiatus and left it of the air for a cool two and a half months; then the ratings sucked. Playing it on Wednesdays at 10 pm was sorta dumb as well; "Lost" hasn't been the best lead in show for ABC (fans are too busy hitting the interwebs after an episode to pay attention). Of course, it was specially dumb to change the show's slot on the first place, but that's besides the point.

So ABC has a procedural with a clever twist, killer cast, amazing visuals, fun concept and good writing and -my guess- high budget, and they manage to kill it. Congratulations. That's the second show that I like that you guys fuck up before it goes anywhere; "Pushing Daisies" broke my heart. Don't expect me to trust you with another series for awhile.

The source of all evil: Phil Collins

There is an evil force in music. It has always been there. It has many, many faces. It is the eternal, fearsome, diabolic, insane source of all that sucks.

Evil is wise, and has many incarnations. The Evil God of Suck has lived since the dawn of times. It was there in Vienna, with a Salieri sucking the life out of Mozart. It was there during the Middle Ages, with an evil nosy troubadour annoying the shit out of Brave Sir Robin. And it is here, now, terrible, destructive, lurking in the shadows, destroying everything that is good and holy in music.

I have seen the evil of our times, and I know his name. The source of all evil in music, the black hole that sucks all talent, is here, and his name is Phil Collins.

Consider some of his crimes. This dude managed to make Peter Gabriel run away from Genesis. This master of the dark arts corrupted untold amounts of ears and scarred them forever when he commited Sussussusudio. He made people homeless by telling everyone that they lived in paradise. He then proceeded to perform jazz covers of his own work (and the sad remains of Genesis) for the hell of it. He destroyed Disney by singing in the soundtrack of Tarzan.

Worse of all, he influenced hundreds of individuals that went on to create even shittier music, spawning creatures like Michael Bolton, Jimmy Buffet, Peter Cetera, Josh Groban, every single annoying asshole that has been in American Idol and -Oh Lord- Kenny Fucking G. He is the creator of a whole category of garbage music characterized by the relentless shittification of any formerly glorious musical genre. It was Collins who inspired Vainilla Ice to launch his career, moved four crappy tennors to piss on the grave of opera by forming Il Divo, and generally launched the ever growing trend of eviscerating good music by draining all the talent out of the recording.

His powers of evil are so wide, so complete, so destructive that from the wreckage of the Tarzan soundtrack he made the corrupted corpse of Disney come back to live as a Demon Wraith from music hell: they launched the music channel, vomiting Britney, Hannah Montana, High School Musical and the Jonas Brothers to the world. Collins is so malignant, so poisonous, that he is essentially unkillable; his evil has spread and is procreating, multiplying, spreading, taking over the world.

Only in the internets, a small band of bloggers resist the advance of chaos and musical sucktitude, by revealing and unmasking all that is evil in the world. Will they win? The Collins is strong in this planet...