The Birth of the Bro-Mantic Comedy

If you do not have plans for March 20th then I am telling you now to go to the movies and see I Love You Man. I was lucky enough to see a sneak preview (thanks to the General) last night and, I hate to gush but, god dammit I laughed my ass off.

The story is simple, Peter (played by the under appreciated for far too long Paul Rudd) just got engaged to the smokin' hot Rashida Jones. She discovers that he does not have any male friends and is slightly weirded out by it (she has a couple hilarious besties - one played by Jamie Pressly).

He decides to search for a male best friend. He goes on blind man-dates that go horribly wrong, until he randomly meets Sydney (played by Marshall himself - the phenomenal Jason Segel) at the open house for the Lou Ferrigno property (yup - the Incredible Hulk). Bro-mance sparks fly and the two soon become inseparable. Sydney helps Peter connect with his masculine side. According to my sources, Sydney's man-cave is like the mecca of all man-caves.

I Love You Man is one of the first movies I have seen that genuinely depicts the tight rope that is finding a hetero male bestie. It also is not afraid to show that friendships can definitely have parallels with relationships. There is the courtship, the honeymoon, the fall out and sometimes the break up.

Jason Segel and Paul Rudd completely sell this movie. They are funny, dumb, sweet, crazy and have an unhealthy appreciation of Rush. Please go see this flick - I swear you will be slappin' the air bass Leprechaun style as you leave the theater. By the way - the trailer does not do the movie justice. My cheeks hurt after watching the movie from laughing so much....seriously.

The B.O.N.O Syndrome

Rock stars have big egos. They need to; the whole going out and yelling at a microphone in front of thousands of people requires a certain level of self esteem that I will never manage to muster. Not when wearing spandex, anyway.

The problem with Rock Gods (with capital letters) is that sometimes have egos that veer from the gigantic to the humongously megalomaniacal. They are not very happy to know themselves. They don´t just go around proclaiming how big their penis* is. That's not enough to satisfy them. They don't have enough with having mad monkey sex (TM) with thousands of adorating fans. That doesn't fill their ego. They just don't feel fullfilled by being reviled for perverting the morals of kids, destroying western civilization and just being plan fucking annoying.

No, that's not enough. Some Rock Gods feel like they are bigger than that. Some Rock Gods believe that they are powerful. They can move mountain. They can open the seas. They can change the world using the awesome power of Rock. They can muster their charisma, their awesome soundglasses, the deep, intense, cult-like adoration of the fans to change the course of human civilization as we know it.

There is one of these Rock Gods amongst us. He is so fucking awesome that he doesn't even has a name. His name is a latin word for some obscure legal shit or a virtue. He is so fucking amazing that he can make George W. Bush cry. He is fucking Bono, and he can cure cancer with his tears or by singing a little lulaby.

Bono is the best example of what we call Boneheaded Onanistic Narcicistic Oligophrenia Syndrome, or B.O.N.O. Syndrome for short. We find that in many musicians that believe, with all their hearts, that they fart rainbows and sweat expensive champagne and can solve any problem with a bit of music magic. There are many of them, prancing around happily, feeling that they are worth something.

Please, don't touch them. They are fragile. They are not aware that they are mortal. Trying to bring reality to them will probably confuse them, bring them to their knees and take them to the mountains of madness. They are precious, little snowflakes. Don't damage them.

*Side note: the history of Rock is the history of grown men and women discussing how big their penises are. True. All that grief in love songs is in fact disappointment for the lack of apreciation for their penises. True.

God loves Nick Fury

For those that watch comic book movies with the right level of nerd adoration, the Samuel L. Jackson cameo in Ironman playing Nick Fury was like a gift from the gods of Valhalla. Marvel comics retconned and redraw Fury to look like Sam L. Jackson. For some reason, Samuel L. Jackson was chickening out on playing him on new movies, to the dismay of the fans.

Until now, that is. He is in. He is going to be Nick Fury. All is right in the world.

Bollywood bites Hollywood, Oscar edition

1. The world needs more Bollywood musicals. I need more Bollywood musicals in my Netflix diet, for frack' sake. If someone even nerdier than me wants to suggest the Indian equivalent of "Singing in the Rain"?

2. Surprise foreign film winner! If a massive upset falls on a forest and no one has seen it, does anyone care? -I sorta do, for once, I wanted to see most of them-

3. I remember when I used to wake up at 2.30 am to watch the Oscars, back in Europe. The friends were good and it was fun, but I will rather see it on a more rational time.

4. It is me, or this year was terrible, deaths-wise. From Paul Newman to KHAAAAAN!, plus Ben Hur and many directors. Sad.

5. Reese Whiterspoon is talented, but I can't believe she has an Oscar. If you waste your talent only doing garbage cash-in, you don't deserve it. And yeah, I am not talking about the Slumdog death march. It is getting boring. Trainspotting director winning the Oscar, though, pretty crazy.

6. And I liked the movie! Less than "Milk" and "The Wrestler", though.

7. The ceremony so far pretty dammed good. It is actually stilish and fun.

8. Now, actress... About fucking time. Holocaust movies sell, people. Best thing of the speech was her dad's hat, the Peter Jackson shotout (Heavenly Creatures!) and the fact that she is almost as cute as Ann Hathaway.

9. Actor: I loved Sean Penn in "Milk". I really did. He is a sick actor. I really feel that Rourke was playing himself, but his performance has stayed with me so hard, so much, so deeply than I would have voted for him. Penn deserves the Oscar, but even him singled Rourke out in his speech.

10. Best picture: duh. It is a very good movie, but not that good. I admire it and see all the things it does well, but for some reason, it really doesn't click for me. I guess that I can't really get behind the destiny and salvation-by-lottery themes. It feels odd, out of context, like they needed to add fairy tale to madness.

That's all for me this evening,folks. Wrap up tomorrow.Hope you had fun!

Slumdog Takes it!

No big surprise here as Slumdog Millionaire takes home the big mamma jamma. Jai Ho (or how I thought it was pronounced, Tally ho!)!!! Those little kids are having the best night of their life. It was such a good idea to bring them to the show.

To sum up the evening - my predictions were spot on!! Too bad I was not in any pools this year. I believe that my fashion predictions were also quite good - Anne Hathaway and Kate Winslet did not dissapoint. Hugh Jackman was great and will probably be asked back next year if they are smart. The only prediction I dont know about yet is the Aniston/Jolie catfight...we will have to wait until tomorrow.

Oscar Update 8

Best Director is yet again no surprise. Slumdog wins again -Danny Boyle rocks my world so there is no complaining from me. This pretty much locks them for best picture, which was the prediction anyway.

Best Actress time, which means more ego-massaging for the nominees. Standing ovation for the past best actresses, including Sophia Loren and Shirley Maclaine. Kate Winslet finally broke her losing streak!!! Her speech was a big improvement from the Golden Globes, where she was practically hyperventilating.

Best Actor now. Maybe this whole thing with the former winners is to soften the blow for the losers. Robert DiNero's talk about Sean Penn was awesome. Great paparazzi reference. And Hells Yeah!!!!!!! Sean Penn takes it!!!!! He was amaaaaaazing in Milk. And he by far is giving the best speech.

Oscar Update 7

Time for the honorary awards. First up is the humanitarian award for Jerry Lewis for doing those fabbo MDA telethons. I was expecting a more controversial speech from him after reading his interview in EW but not so much.

The music categories are up now. Best original Score for Slumdog is no surprise. The music rocks from that flick. The performances of the original songs were really good. I must admit I am very partial to John Legend (ummm he is hot and can sang). They melded the songs really well - it worked. Jai Ho took home the gold from Slumdog, again no surprise.

We are heading into the last leg - only a half hour to go (in theory). Foreign Language was a big surprise. I thought for sure it would be Waltz with Bashir or the Class but it went to Departures from Japan. Have to admit the Director's speech was the best of the night so far. Is it just me or have the speeches been totally lame up until now? Penelope Cruz's was ok, as well as the Milk writer but not so much for everyone else.

This year for the In Memorium they are having Queen Latifah sing a song over the video instead of having the awkward random applause that turns into a popularity contest. Good move. Accept the audience didn't get the memo and they are clapping for the big names anyway. It was a very rough year for celebrity deaths. Sadness.